It started out with the best intent. We had marshmellows, hot dogs, pop tarts, a handful of luna bars, and a 24 pack of bottled water. We had a great tent, a change of clothes, some T.P. and some bandaids. We were set.
Except, we had NO IDEA where we were going. I drove around for about 30 minutes before stopping by a gast station. I ran inside, and asked the man at the counter if there was a place to camp nearby. He said, "I'm not from around here, try asking someone at the strip club across the street."
No. I've got my kids with me. I'm not taking them the strip club across the street.
I drive about 5 more miles and stop at another gast station. There is no one in the parking lot and the door is wide open. I go inside and NO ONE is there. Seriously. It was eerie. I've never been to a gas station that had no attendants. I'm not sure if the attendant had quit, was out back smoking, or was dying in a pool of blood from a recent robbery, but I didn't stay long enough to find out.
At the third gas station, I finally meet a guy who tells me the closest place to camp. (It was 8ish by then, already dark.) I follow his directions and make it to the campsite. I've got the kids in a circle holding up their flashlights for me so I can set up the tent while the dog starts going crazy because he hears a fox off in the distance.
At this point, I'm starting to wish we stayed home.
We finally get the tent up, and I realize that I've only got one match. Of course, being the ingenious girl that I am, I decide to use the car lighter. Ha. We collected some leaves and a few good sized logs in the pit, and I had the boys sit in the tent and play cards while I tried to get the fire going.
After a few unsuccessful attempts to use the car lighter to set fire to a leaf, I decide to help it along.. I rolled up the leaf, and inhaled one end of it, while lighting the other end. It works for cigarrettes, right?
Well in real life - - smoking a leaf is definitly not a good idea. The only thing that happened was I got a lung full of burnt shubbery smoke. Yum. Please don't try it.
The boys come out of the tent and looked across the campgrounds. There was one other camper there. He's got such a gorgeous fire going, we decide to ask him for a burning stick.
I made the boys wait in the car for me (I would much rather them be in the car then come with me as I suprise some random Texas camper and ask him for a stick) and I made my journey across the field.
The guy is sitting there watching the game on a portable TV (I'm not sure what game it was). I tried to be loud, I swear I did. I cleared my throat. I coughed. I stomped on the ground. I did everything I could to make my presence known, but he must not have heard me. When I asked him for a stick, he jumped up, grabbed his shotgun, turned around, and pointed it at me.
I kinda laughed and said, "Ok - I guess that's a no."
He lowered the gun, and gave me a lighter to borrow. He said he didn't even hear us pull into the campgrounds, which suprised me, cause the boys were running around like little flashlight toting hoodlums.
We got the fire started, roasted some marshmellows, gave "Gun Man" back his lighter, and called it a night. We finally settled down. The sleeping bags were out. The food was put away. Teeth our were all brushed (Ok - - I know we're camping, but I don't want to pay massive dentist bills in a few years) and we were all tucked in for the night.
And then the boys, "Mom - I've got to pee so bad. Will you walk with me to the tree?" "Mom, I'm a little scared, can I sleep in your sleeping bag with you?" "Tamra, can I call my mom? I want to remind her to feed my puppy." (I let the boys bring a friend.)
After we finally fell asleep, the wind started. At first a mild calm breeze. The smell of the lake wafted through the tent, and I was actually glad we were camping. It progressively strengthened to the point that it lifted half of the tent stakes out of the ground. I'm suprised it didn't wake the kids, but it scared the heck out of my dog. I left the tent to fix it, and he snuck out behind me and took off running.
I fixed the tent, but lost the dog. He always comes back though, so I just left the tent door unzipped a little and fell back asleep.
This morning, the temp had dropped 30 degrees compared to last night and the wind gusts were up to 30 mph. I had woken up 3 times to fix the tent and 5 times to take the boys to a tree. The boys were all miserable. (I forgot to remind them not to pee into the wind.) We had planned on staying till late this afternoon, but instead, I put the heater on in the car, stuck all the kids in there with some poptarts, rolled up the tent, and started packing up. Right as I finished loading up the car, our dog came back. That's about the only good thing that happened this morning.
We left the campgrounds, got lost a bit, and finally found our way home.
Now my living room is filled with sleeping bags and unused camping paraphenelia, my kids are eating hog dogs that we cooked over the open flame on my stove, and ironically - I can't wait to go camping again.
What a great life this is.
Posted at 11:39 a.m.